The One Rule

Yesterday was one of those days. It didn't look like this, but it felt like this! {Maybe it looked like this...minus the pregnancy.} I felt like a crazy mom. I chased my kids around almost all day. It was a less than productive day.

My children were WILD THINGS. It didn't matter what I tried. I sent them outside, I made them clean, and of course I nagged them! I used all of my energy not to yell and lose my patience or get frustrated. I did pretty well!!

Finally, I had this brilliant idea. We needed a little team meeting. I grabbed my white board and marker. They sat on the floor in the living room, wriggling around like a bunch of worms. I was about to write down some rules that they know they should follow.

1. Don't mess up the house (clean up your stuff).

2. Don't yell or run in the house.

3. Be nice to each other.

And on the list could go. Except, I didn't write any of that down. I wrote one word.

Our pastors taught on this in a parenting class. The one rule, respect, covers everything! 

I explained what it means to respect. I asked the kids questions like, "is it respect when you do this to my living room?" {My house was pretty wrecked.} And, "is it respect when you call each other names or fight?" Of course they know those are things aren't respect! Even the twins caught on! 

I have already had the privilege of using our one rule today! YAY! {Right....yay for getting to put it to use and see that they actually understand.}

From now on I will not have to nag or command the kids to follow ALL the rules. {Because, I will not be a nagging/commanding mom.} They have one rule. They also have consequences. 

Very soon I will share about our newly implemented "junk box." {It's different from the rummage boxes we have all seen on Pinterest!} I will also share with you about some of our other creative disciplines we use. 

My Isaiah Story

This is my teen pregnancy story. This is how I really came to know Jesus.

There is a lot to The Isaiah Story. It's hard to know where to start. I don't want to smear anyone's reputation here {including my own}, so unlike myself I will tread lightly.

When I was a senior in high school I went through a short-lived phase of full on rebellion. Actually, I did stupid ungodly things off and on through out high school. This time it was different, I didn't want to repent and didn't feel much conviction in the middle of my actions. I don't want to load this blog up with details that are irrelevant to the real story here, the story of how Jesus used a little baby boy to help bring me back to Him. 

In February of 2003 I was a senior in high school and found out I was pregnant. I attended a private Christian high school, worked in the after school care program, and the church nursery. When I found out I decided not to tell anyone because school was almost over and surely I could make it to June without anyone knowing. I probably could have made it if it had not been for the "morning sickness" that literally kept me in bed, out of school and work. Everyone found out. I was no longer allowed to attend classes at school and was unable to keep my jobs. {Please understand that I signed a code of conduct and the action to give me out of school suspension was in my favor. I was too sick to attend class anyway.}

I went through the rest of the school year mourning. Mourning the loss of my friends, the relationship with a boy I had dated, prom, and just life as a high schooler in general. Ten years ago teen pregnancy was not the cool thing to do, there weren't shows about it, and it was highly rejected. I was rejected. I can't even begin to explain the pain and loneliness I experienced. In my desperation I began a cycle of setting myself up for more heartache and rejection.

Until one day, while I was driving in my car I cried out to Jesus. He answered me right then. The major hole I felt in my heart was gone. I was still experiencing heart ache and had hard decisions to make to break the cycle of pain and rejection, but I was able now.

Jesus put some seriously amazing people in my life and I know without their support and prayers I wouldn't be where I am today. I had a few really great friends that stuck beside me and I can't even think of the times without crying, that they literally laid beside me in bed just to be a friend. Two of those people were my sisters. There were others who fought for me behind the scenes and one who simply wouldn't stop inviting me to the teen moms support group. My family showed amazing support for me as well.

I can look back now and see Him saving me, loving me, holding me, keeping me alive. He put amazing people in my path to help mentor me and walk beside me when no one else wanted to! When the school board decided on out of school suspension I was crushed, but look at how God was working behind the scenes the whole time! As I mentioned above, I was too sick to attend class.

On prom night I remember laying in bed and praying, "Jesus, I need to know this is worth it." And that very night I felt my baby move for the first time! It was supposed to be "too early" to feel him, but he kept moving and flipping and the whole thing lasted several minutes. I know it was an answered prayer.

God also met my need for a job that wouldn't be really hard on me as I continued with morning sickness off and on until about 4-5 months along. I was a nanny for a super sweet little girl and her mom was very understanding of my situation and she showed me compassion.

Then, in July I had sworn off all guys-forever. Except my baby boy. It was going to be us against the world. Until Mackey came along. {A blog for another day, but this was a big promise God didn't wait to deliver to Isaiah and me.}

At around 8 months into the pregnancy I suddenly was overcome with fear about parenting. Even with Mackey by my side, I felt like I might still end up parenting alone. I thought perhaps adoption would be the best route. I found a family and everything.

Isaiah came 2 days late, on November 6th at 4:20 pm. It was eventful to say the least. He went home on November 3rd, after the hospital social worker had coerced me to release him to the adoptive parents. Before he left me I was already having second thoughts. I cried from the moment he left until I had him back. It was heart wrenching to lose him and it was heart wrenching to take him back. {Just a little side story. The Lord has since blessed that family with 3 healthy biological children of their own!}

Mackey named him, Isaiah Luke. We didn't know the meaning of his names at the time, but here they are: Isaiah-God is salvation and Luke-light. Yeah, that sums it up, for me anyway. God gave me this baby and brought me salvation as I learned to press into Him. 

During that 40 weeks I found myself praying a lot. Going to church a lot. And really looking for God in everything. There were ups and major downs. I made a lot of mistakes about how I handled things. But He was there, always right there. I was never alone. Even when I still felt alone He brought me amazing people.

If I had not been pregnant at only 17 I can honestly tell you I would have continued in my rebellion. I would have partied and drank. I would have lived a purposeless life and I don't know for how long. The lack of purpose is what I believe caused my rebellion in the first place. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. In a moment that I least expected, Jesus gave me a path to follow. I know that I was sinning and that premarital sex is never God's plan for us. But what I do know is that God can take what the devil wants to use against us and actually use it FOR us, because He is a REDEEMER. He took my situation of rebellion and pulled me to Him.

Thank you Jesus for my second chance, for intervening and creating a new path for me. Thank you Jesus for my Isaiah.

Time For Transparency

What if we were completely transparent? What if we allowed the light of Jesus to shine right through us? What does that even mean? What would that look like?

Well....I know in my life it would mean being completely honest, laying it all out there for Jesus to come and restore. Then sharing my story, my testimony, my past and present failures. When we pretend everything is just great and it's all perfect, we do a great disservice to the redemptive power of the cross. 

As a parent we are gearing up to have some seriously hard conversations with our kids about sex. Seriously hard. It isn't easy for any parents but for parents who didn't wait, for a mom that conceived her first child in high school, unmarried, it complicates the conversation. Many parents didn't wait and lots of them conceived out of wedlock, sadly it is not uncommon anymore. And lots of parents lie to their kids. We wont lie. We can't. Our oldest knows he was adopted by his dad. The message I hope to share with my son and daughters is not a scary teen pregnancy story but the redemptive story. The work Jesus did in my life. 

Where I am going with all of this is that the messy and brokenness that makes up our lives is so powerful if we will lay it out there rather than hide it. I am not saying we should give details and air out our dirty laundry, but we should tell the truth. 

In John chapter 8, Jesus tells us that He is the truth and He will set us free. Free from sin, free from shame. We are captives to sin and shame. Even when you are free from sin you can still be held captive by shame. Being transparent, truthful, and sharing your story will literally set you free from shame. The enemy that holds you captive by shame will then be the one you are holding captive!

When we become transparent with Jesus, He makes us whole, He heals us, He redeems us, He makes us new. It is in this place, this safe place, you can become the real you. Not the you clothed in shame and burdened with regret, but the you clothed in righteousness, with no burdens at all! Not the you full of reject, but the Jesus in you that you fully accept. 

Once you fully accept yourself you can learn to fully accept others. Because this faith journey isn't one we should travel alone. We need friends. Friends is really understatement. We need people who have gone before us and people to go along side us- brothers and sisters in Christ. But if we can't make peace with the past, if we continue to wear a mask and refuse transparency, then we will never really be on the journey at all. We will never really be able to impact people for Christ. Without transparency it's like emptiness. With truth, love, and togetherness we have fullness.

It's time to lay down the mask and facade and say I struggle with depression...or my daughter has an eating disorder...or my marriage is falling apart...or I am struggling with the financial burden of single parenting...or addiction...or homosexuality...or any other number of things that wreak havoc in our hearts and tear apart our happy homes. 

My heart is craving the raw real life relationships. The kind where we can be real and transparent. And I think it's time. Time to be transparent, to be real, to allow healing in our souls. Time to let Jesus heal us and let our brothers and sisters in Christ walk with us. 

To be real. To be honest. To be healed. To be you.


{This blog post was highly inspired by a book, "The Beauty of Broken," written by Elisa Morgan. This is definitely a recommended read!}


    

Our {First} doTERRA Story

During "The Summer of the Great Sickness," as we have so loving nicknamed it, we were introduced to doTerra Essential Oils. It is possible, though not confirmed, that our twins had pertussis (whooping cough). The older kids had the same symptoms but their immune systems are much more mature and handled the illness like a boss. These oils were the game changing moment in our family's s healing journey.

We have been dealing with respiratory issues since July due to "The Great Sickness." In the past few weeks we have continued with essential oils purchased from the health food store without any improvement. Switched to doTerra oils and BOOM! Improvement. Again, game changer.

Here is a little something my doTerra consultant shared: 

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." Thus begins the Gospel of Saint John. The creation story of Genesis begins with the statement: "In the beginning God created..." Following that we find God speaking His creation into existence by His very Word. "And God said, Let there be light...And God said, Let there be a firmament...And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so." We find the phrase, "And God said..." nine times in the first chapter of Genesis.Word is a vibration, a frequency, a consciousness, an expression of energy. When God created the plants by His speaking voice, he imbued them with His Word and His intelligence. This includes the oils of the plants which He intended, from their very creation, to become our medicines when we need healing.That is what is so special about essential oils. They contain power of God's Word. Artificial medicines, made by humans, contain no such power. That's why they cannot heal and never will. The point here is that essential oils are divinely ordained as medicine's for God's children and are meant to be used with God's guidance, accompanied with prayer. ~The Healing Oils of the Bible, By: David Stewart PhD

We are hooked on doTerra oils. We have seen first hand the difference quality oils can make in your health. Mackey and I are super excited to join the doTerra family! We want to help people the same way we were helped. Our prayer is that daily God will bring people into our life that we can help by showing them the power of essential oils and teach them how to care for themselves and their family naturally.

Santa in Our Home

In my last blog, A Holy Holiday, I briefly wrote a little on Halloween, Christmas, and celebrating secular holidays as Christians. In this blog I will share my heart journey with you. {It is ok to agree to disagree. I am not here to debate. I am not a theologian. This is only the story of my journey}.

I have been on both ends of the spectrum when it comes to celebrating Halloween, Christmas, and Easter. I was raised "doing" the holidays like everyone else. It was fun {SO MUCH FUN} but it wasn't purposed. However, I can honestly say that it has not damaged me as an adult. I don't believe in Jesus less, not even as a child when I found out the truth. I have heard of a few instances where kids found out and then wondered if God was real. I think with a balanced view on fiction, fantasy, and reality this wont happen. Fostering a healthy imagination in children will most likely prevent this and it's important for kids to make-believe. Kids also believe Dora, Elmo, Doc McStuffins, and all of their favorite characters are real.

Fast forward into my adult years as a young mom on a motherhood journey much too young and very much still trying to just figure out the basics. I decided Halloween, Santa, Christmas, all of it was evil and came from the devil. I didn't want our little family to participate. It was always a debate in our home, my sweet hubs wasn't completely on board. We did participate in a few and very limited amount of these celebrations. Back in these days (until last year of 2012) I can honestly say I was completely operating in legalism, a spirit of fear (fear that I was pleasing the devil, not God), and self-righteousness (I wanted to be super holy).

Here's the deal with Santa:
It was almost the holiday season of 2012 when my sweet little 3 year old twins came running through house shouting, "Santa is coming! Santa is coming!" Needless to say I was completely thrown through a loop. We had never talked about Santa with them and it wasn't even December yet (Santa and Christmas stuff weren't even out in the stores yet). I tried to tell them Santa wasn't real, he is pretend like Elmo and Dora. They completely melted down and didn't believe me. The other kids had just accepted this truth like no big deal. I could not bare to crushed their childlike faith. So, I began to search my heart and pray.

After the eye opening experience with the twins I realized that my kids where longing for a more exciting childhood and the space to just be kids. We not only did the Santa thing we even did Elf on the Shelf. Let me tell you one of the biggest reasons why. I had been suffering from depression for a few years and I really needed to have fun and relax. I didn't want the Christmas season to feel like a drag. We celebrated. That is why God gives us the opportunity to celebrate isn't it? To remember His goodness, to relish in His love, and to have fun! God wants us to enjoy life.

We have been open and honest with our kids about the whole Santa thing from the very beginning, including the tooth fairy, but we all enjoy pretending together. I am so bad at the tooth fairy thing, when the kids lose a tooth I will ask them, "Do you want the money now or under your pillow?" They usually will say under their pillow {because it's FUN}. The twins asked me just yesterday if Santa was real. We had a good talk {I'm not sure they totally caught on}. I explained about St. Nicholas, who was very generous but had to remain anonymous and that's where we get the idea to give gifts from Santa, to help us to remember to give generously and without expecting anything in return. Jesus gives to us so we can give to others. We really like this VeggieTales.

We talk about how we just pretend about Santa. They know we eat the milk and cookies. Our Elf on the Shelf, Zippy is his name, is just part of the fun make-believe. And guess what? During Christmas time they choose to go all out and pretend like they actually believe. Our family had fun last year and we really needed that. The kids went bed with anticipation of the fun that Zippy would bring in the morning!

My goal this year is to be purposed with Zippy and our Santa game. I want Zippy to do silly things but mostly bring important messages to the kids about doing acts of kindness. Zippy will come back from the North Pole with assignments for the kids to carry out. As far as Christmas Eve and Santa, he will be riding in his sleigh to bring a few gifts, eat his cookies, and travel around the world-for pretend. It's fun to make-believe with your kids. Our imaginations are beautiful gifts from God. He created us to imagine, to hope, to dream, to have faith in things unseen, and to believe.

We will also be using the Jesus Storybook Bible to go along with our Jesse Tree devotions. I am currently working on our December reading list that will consist of Christmas stories that focus on Jesus, some about the make-believe stuff (like Santa), and hopefully some that incorporate both.

The point is that any day of the week can be as evil as you allow it to be. Any holiday, character, anything at all can be used for evil or for good. I believe it's our choice. We choose to make good what the enemy wants to use for evil. I can't think of a better way to defeat him than to use his own tools against him!

St. Nicholas was a real person who did great things in the name of Christ. He set an excellent example that we can all learn from. However, Zippy is no more real than Cinderella and I don't know about ya'll but we love her! So that's it, my journey, my heart, and how I am hoping to make our make-believing purposed.

{Update: We are following this blog this year, Elf on the Shelf Jesus Style}

A Holy Holiday

If there really is one....

Let me start this blog by saying a few things about myself. There was once a time (not that long ago) that I didn't want my family to celebrate Halloween, in any way shape or form. I didn't want my kids to believe in Santa Clause or the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny. None of it. It's all pagan, right?? Can we actually redeem these pagan holidays and make them Christian? I don't know. What I do know is that over the past two years I have had a major heart shift in all of it {we are all having a lot more fun}.

One thing I have come to realize is that I was raising my kids in a very sheltered sub-culture of Christianity. The very last thing I want to do is raise kids to become teenagers and adults that cannot influence anyone for Christ because no one from outside their sub-culture can relate to them {I digress. That's a blog for another day}.

Let's talk Christmas and Halloween for a moment. Jesus was not born in December-fact. Saint Nicolas was a real person-fact. Christmas is basically a made up holiday deemed a time to celebrate the birth of Christ and take the place of the pagan holidays (Saturnalia, Yule, etc.)- fact. So, it seems we Christians have found a way to "redeem" this former pagan holiday. {Although I'm not sure how Santa and Elf on the Shelf have anything to do with the birth of Christ, but we have fun with both in our house anyway.}

Halloween has some serious dark roots-fact. Halloween actually means All Hallows' Eve and is the day before All Saints Day (Catholic origins)-fact. October 31st is also the day Martin Luther nailed the 95 Theses to the doors of the Catholic Church changing not only the church but the world-fact. Reformation Day is {in my lowly opinion} worthy of celebration. However dressing up and trick or treating isn't really celebrating Reformation Day anymore than pretending a fat guy came down your chimney and dropped off presents and saying it's a way to celebrate the birth of Christ.

Here is a snippet I read from Relevant (Christian Magazine).

"Halloween clearly came from some pretty not Christian stuff. And we should all take seriously the world of spirits and the dangers of real witchcraft and messing with the occult. The Bible explicitly talks about a world we can’t see, and a world that very often influences and affects our own. Which begs the question: How should Christians think about Halloween?Well ... probably the same way we think about Christmas. What does Christmas mean to you? When you see a Christmas tree or wear red and green for a cheesy photo, are you thinking about how you can best honor the Roman god Sol Invictus? And when you eat your Christmas dinner, are you super pumped about gathering to observe the ancient German pagan holiday of Yule?Because that’s where those traditions started.If you are, then you should probably stop celebrating Christmas (you also might want to talk to someone about your theology). But if you aren’t, then Christmas is likely the time you remember Christ’s birth and how His birth provides the opportunity for salvation and ushered in a Kingdom that is changing the world."

-Is Halloween Good or Evil  By: Ryan Hamm

Just as Christmas has been deemed a time to celebrate the birth of Christ maybe Halloween can be deemed a time to celebrate the freedom we have in Christ and the work of the saints who have gone before us paving the way. All I know is that I will let the light of Christ shine {hide my light under a bushel-NO!} and I will not let the enemy have any day not even October 31st. Every day belongs to my Redeemer.

Happy Halloween. Happy All Hallows' Eve. Happy Reformation Day. Happy October 31st, the day that the Lord has made {I will rejoice and be glad in it}!

There and Back: Cambodia

Phnom Penh, Cambodia. View from my hotel window.

I have been home almost a month. I am still counting the blessings and the things I learned from this trip. Should I just start listing things off or try and be creative or poetic in my blogs? I'll just be me...

1. When God says go there or do this. Obey.

2. When you do God will show up in big ways.

3. He is the ultimate provider. No excuses for not doing kingdom work! God showed me His idea of provision and rocked my world.

4. He is the ultimate comforter. I didn't feel homesick at all. I missed my husband and kids but I had tremendous peace throughout the trip. The twins were diagnosed with bronchitis just days before I left and still I had PEACE!

5. There is no such thing as small kingdom work. Anything you do to grow God's kingdom is a big deal to Him. Whether it's cleaning toilets, changing diapers in the nursery, singing on the worship team, preaching, or traveling around the world to love on people, it matters!! It changes lives.

6. Just do something. Anything. Get involved. {Refer to #5}

7. Don't under estimate the power of a happy face. Not just a smile but actually having joy and showing it. It's a universal language. 

 8. Be flexible. {Like when you are in the Moscow airport and they don't sell real water. And all you want is real  water, not something that fizzes when you open it.}

9. Mostly, I learned to really open my heart to people, to let people in.

10. LOVE LOVE LOVE people. Hold the baby without the diaper, hug the kids that live in the dump and have lice infested hair, dance and be silly, and just let anything go that hinders love.

Now for some pictures...

Airplane food is gross. I felt adventurous on the way there and ate some. I actually tasted every meal. On the way back...not so much. 

Cambodians eat strange pizza. Those are hot dogs in the crust. 

Participating in the feeding program at Kampong Thom was my FAVORITE part of the trip. I could do this all the time. {Then of course this puts the 1st two pictures into perspective. Humbled. Grateful.}

Baby holding. <3 

Game playing.

Party time!

Every year Global Reach throws a party in Kampong Cham. They provide school uniforms, supplies, shoes, and other goodies for all of the kids in the Hope Center. This year there were 32 kids. The party was so fun!

Manicures at the party. 

A few other things we did not pictured here:

1. Participated in an ESL (English as a second language) class. I got to participate in the kids' class and one of the little girls gave me a flower afterward. I loved this experience!

2. We went with New Life Church (a local church in Phnom Penh with campuses all over Cambodia) to the what they call the Dumps to teach bible stories and play with kids. These kids actually live in the dump, think landfill. Humbling isn't it? 

3. We went to New Life Church's YO (youth outreach, youth group) and played games. Two of our team members gave their testimony and it was amazing.

4. We also went to New Life Church on Sunday. We helped with children's church and also attended the service. Both experiences were awesome. The Cambodian people are so excited about Jesus. Their hope and joy are very contagious! 

5. Other big highlights from the trip were when we ate at Sugar & Spice Garden Cafe and Bloom Bakery. Sugar & Spice is operated by a Christian organization, Daughter's of Cambodia, that works diligently to bring both women and men out of the sex industry. Bloom Bakery is operated by, SHE Rescue Home. At Bloom they make amazing cakes and cupcakes (think about those crazy cake shows, they make things like that at Bloom). At both of these places I had to fight back tears, literally {I didn't want to come across as crazy}. I am simply awe struck of the things these daughters of God, these sisters in Christ, have had to overcome. It is nothing short of amazing what the restoring power of God can do. I wanted to hug them all!  

The trip was such a great experience. I can't wait to do something like this again. I am ready!