Before Black Friday

Before you make your Black Friday shopping lists. Before you grab the Thanksgiving paper and rip through the ads for all the hot holiday sales. Before you gobble up all the Thanksgiving yumminess. Before you even put the turkey in the oven. Think about the children. 

Ethiopia- Children's Hope Chest (photo credit)

Think about all the children in your city, state, country, and world. Think about them. Don't think only about your own children and how you can stuff their rooms with even more STUFF.

I have been Black Friday shopping. I will probably go again. I wont use that day for greed or to get stuff just to have stuff. {I really hate stuff and especially crappy stuff, it's the worst.} However, it's an excellent day to score some bargains on things our family needs and even things we want. It's ok to have nice things and to bless our kids with nice things.

I have to wonder though, at what point does the blessing turn into a curse?

The stores are opening earlier and earlier, many on Thanksgiving now. The workers are often under paid. Many, not all, would be considered the working poor. You know, those single moms or dads ( though, not all are single) busting their butts around the clock just to provide FOOD and yet they still need welfare. Shouldn't they have a day to spend with their families too?

26% of children in the state of Texas live in poverty. They can forget about Elf on the Shelf. Santa isn't coming to their house.

While we indulge in gluttony and call it holiday cheer, children all over the world starve to death. Literal death. Not the "starving to death" we experience waiting in line at Burger King.

When we are out shopping for our daughter's 100th doll or our son's endless stack of new video games, children go without clothing or shoes. Yet they dwell in the filthiest living conditions and a pair of shoes could literally save their lives.

Like these kids.

Not all is lost. In middle of the holiday parties, the frenzy, and the stress we can do something. What if this year your family decided to give gifts with eternal impact? Give the gift of child sponsorship. Take some of your Christmas spending money and give to reliable charities in honor of your family. I know it might sound cheesy! But it's not. Impacting the life of a child for eternity is not cheesy. Here are a few fantastic ministries to get involved with this Christmas:

http://www.hopechest.org/
http://globalreachforjustice.com/
http://sherescuehome.org/

Get involved locally! In my area there is an amzing ministry that not only provides coats for children who would otherwise have nothing, they also provide gifts from Santa. What a dream come true for those kids!! There are several churches in my area {and in yours too} that are providing holiday meals. Find a place to get involved. You wont have to look far.

The best way to spread holiday cheer is sharing the GOSPEL for all to hear! {Sorry Buddy, I like Christmas songs too, but the gospel has more impact.}

I'm not just talking about the Baby Jesus Christmas Story. I'm talking about walking out the gospel. Being the hands and feet of Christ this Christmas!

The One Rule

Yesterday was one of those days. It didn't look like this, but it felt like this! {Maybe it looked like this...minus the pregnancy.} I felt like a crazy mom. I chased my kids around almost all day. It was a less than productive day.

My children were WILD THINGS. It didn't matter what I tried. I sent them outside, I made them clean, and of course I nagged them! I used all of my energy not to yell and lose my patience or get frustrated. I did pretty well!!

Finally, I had this brilliant idea. We needed a little team meeting. I grabbed my white board and marker. They sat on the floor in the living room, wriggling around like a bunch of worms. I was about to write down some rules that they know they should follow.

1. Don't mess up the house (clean up your stuff).

2. Don't yell or run in the house.

3. Be nice to each other.

And on the list could go. Except, I didn't write any of that down. I wrote one word.

Our pastors taught on this in a parenting class. The one rule, respect, covers everything! 

I explained what it means to respect. I asked the kids questions like, "is it respect when you do this to my living room?" {My house was pretty wrecked.} And, "is it respect when you call each other names or fight?" Of course they know those are things aren't respect! Even the twins caught on! 

I have already had the privilege of using our one rule today! YAY! {Right....yay for getting to put it to use and see that they actually understand.}

From now on I will not have to nag or command the kids to follow ALL the rules. {Because, I will not be a nagging/commanding mom.} They have one rule. They also have consequences. 

Very soon I will share about our newly implemented "junk box." {It's different from the rummage boxes we have all seen on Pinterest!} I will also share with you about some of our other creative disciplines we use. 

My Isaiah Story

This is my teen pregnancy story. This is how I really came to know Jesus.

There is a lot to The Isaiah Story. It's hard to know where to start. I don't want to smear anyone's reputation here {including my own}, so unlike myself I will tread lightly.

When I was a senior in high school I went through a short-lived phase of full on rebellion. Actually, I did stupid ungodly things off and on through out high school. This time it was different, I didn't want to repent and didn't feel much conviction in the middle of my actions. I don't want to load this blog up with details that are irrelevant to the real story here, the story of how Jesus used a little baby boy to help bring me back to Him. 

In February of 2003 I was a senior in high school and found out I was pregnant. I attended a private Christian high school, worked in the after school care program, and the church nursery. When I found out I decided not to tell anyone because school was almost over and surely I could make it to June without anyone knowing. I probably could have made it if it had not been for the "morning sickness" that literally kept me in bed, out of school and work. Everyone found out. I was no longer allowed to attend classes at school and was unable to keep my jobs. {Please understand that I signed a code of conduct and the action to give me out of school suspension was in my favor. I was too sick to attend class anyway.}

I went through the rest of the school year mourning. Mourning the loss of my friends, the relationship with a boy I had dated, prom, and just life as a high schooler in general. Ten years ago teen pregnancy was not the cool thing to do, there weren't shows about it, and it was highly rejected. I was rejected. I can't even begin to explain the pain and loneliness I experienced. In my desperation I began a cycle of setting myself up for more heartache and rejection.

Until one day, while I was driving in my car I cried out to Jesus. He answered me right then. The major hole I felt in my heart was gone. I was still experiencing heart ache and had hard decisions to make to break the cycle of pain and rejection, but I was able now.

Jesus put some seriously amazing people in my life and I know without their support and prayers I wouldn't be where I am today. I had a few really great friends that stuck beside me and I can't even think of the times without crying, that they literally laid beside me in bed just to be a friend. Two of those people were my sisters. There were others who fought for me behind the scenes and one who simply wouldn't stop inviting me to the teen moms support group. My family showed amazing support for me as well.

I can look back now and see Him saving me, loving me, holding me, keeping me alive. He put amazing people in my path to help mentor me and walk beside me when no one else wanted to! When the school board decided on out of school suspension I was crushed, but look at how God was working behind the scenes the whole time! As I mentioned above, I was too sick to attend class.

On prom night I remember laying in bed and praying, "Jesus, I need to know this is worth it." And that very night I felt my baby move for the first time! It was supposed to be "too early" to feel him, but he kept moving and flipping and the whole thing lasted several minutes. I know it was an answered prayer.

God also met my need for a job that wouldn't be really hard on me as I continued with morning sickness off and on until about 4-5 months along. I was a nanny for a super sweet little girl and her mom was very understanding of my situation and she showed me compassion.

Then, in July I had sworn off all guys-forever. Except my baby boy. It was going to be us against the world. Until Mackey came along. {A blog for another day, but this was a big promise God didn't wait to deliver to Isaiah and me.}

At around 8 months into the pregnancy I suddenly was overcome with fear about parenting. Even with Mackey by my side, I felt like I might still end up parenting alone. I thought perhaps adoption would be the best route. I found a family and everything.

Isaiah came 2 days late, on November 6th at 4:20 pm. It was eventful to say the least. He went home on November 3rd, after the hospital social worker had coerced me to release him to the adoptive parents. Before he left me I was already having second thoughts. I cried from the moment he left until I had him back. It was heart wrenching to lose him and it was heart wrenching to take him back. {Just a little side story. The Lord has since blessed that family with 3 healthy biological children of their own!}

Mackey named him, Isaiah Luke. We didn't know the meaning of his names at the time, but here they are: Isaiah-God is salvation and Luke-light. Yeah, that sums it up, for me anyway. God gave me this baby and brought me salvation as I learned to press into Him. 

During that 40 weeks I found myself praying a lot. Going to church a lot. And really looking for God in everything. There were ups and major downs. I made a lot of mistakes about how I handled things. But He was there, always right there. I was never alone. Even when I still felt alone He brought me amazing people.

If I had not been pregnant at only 17 I can honestly tell you I would have continued in my rebellion. I would have partied and drank. I would have lived a purposeless life and I don't know for how long. The lack of purpose is what I believe caused my rebellion in the first place. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. In a moment that I least expected, Jesus gave me a path to follow. I know that I was sinning and that premarital sex is never God's plan for us. But what I do know is that God can take what the devil wants to use against us and actually use it FOR us, because He is a REDEEMER. He took my situation of rebellion and pulled me to Him.

Thank you Jesus for my second chance, for intervening and creating a new path for me. Thank you Jesus for my Isaiah.

Time For Transparency

What if we were completely transparent? What if we allowed the light of Jesus to shine right through us? What does that even mean? What would that look like?

Well....I know in my life it would mean being completely honest, laying it all out there for Jesus to come and restore. Then sharing my story, my testimony, my past and present failures. When we pretend everything is just great and it's all perfect, we do a great disservice to the redemptive power of the cross. 

As a parent we are gearing up to have some seriously hard conversations with our kids about sex. Seriously hard. It isn't easy for any parents but for parents who didn't wait, for a mom that conceived her first child in high school, unmarried, it complicates the conversation. Many parents didn't wait and lots of them conceived out of wedlock, sadly it is not uncommon anymore. And lots of parents lie to their kids. We wont lie. We can't. Our oldest knows he was adopted by his dad. The message I hope to share with my son and daughters is not a scary teen pregnancy story but the redemptive story. The work Jesus did in my life. 

Where I am going with all of this is that the messy and brokenness that makes up our lives is so powerful if we will lay it out there rather than hide it. I am not saying we should give details and air out our dirty laundry, but we should tell the truth. 

In John chapter 8, Jesus tells us that He is the truth and He will set us free. Free from sin, free from shame. We are captives to sin and shame. Even when you are free from sin you can still be held captive by shame. Being transparent, truthful, and sharing your story will literally set you free from shame. The enemy that holds you captive by shame will then be the one you are holding captive!

When we become transparent with Jesus, He makes us whole, He heals us, He redeems us, He makes us new. It is in this place, this safe place, you can become the real you. Not the you clothed in shame and burdened with regret, but the you clothed in righteousness, with no burdens at all! Not the you full of reject, but the Jesus in you that you fully accept. 

Once you fully accept yourself you can learn to fully accept others. Because this faith journey isn't one we should travel alone. We need friends. Friends is really understatement. We need people who have gone before us and people to go along side us- brothers and sisters in Christ. But if we can't make peace with the past, if we continue to wear a mask and refuse transparency, then we will never really be on the journey at all. We will never really be able to impact people for Christ. Without transparency it's like emptiness. With truth, love, and togetherness we have fullness.

It's time to lay down the mask and facade and say I struggle with depression...or my daughter has an eating disorder...or my marriage is falling apart...or I am struggling with the financial burden of single parenting...or addiction...or homosexuality...or any other number of things that wreak havoc in our hearts and tear apart our happy homes. 

My heart is craving the raw real life relationships. The kind where we can be real and transparent. And I think it's time. Time to be transparent, to be real, to allow healing in our souls. Time to let Jesus heal us and let our brothers and sisters in Christ walk with us. 

To be real. To be honest. To be healed. To be you.


{This blog post was highly inspired by a book, "The Beauty of Broken," written by Elisa Morgan. This is definitely a recommended read!}