Before Black Friday

Before you make your Black Friday shopping lists. Before you grab the Thanksgiving paper and rip through the ads for all the hot holiday sales. Before you gobble up all the Thanksgiving yumminess. Before you even put the turkey in the oven. Think about the children. 

Ethiopia- Children's Hope Chest (photo credit)

Think about all the children in your city, state, country, and world. Think about them. Don't think only about your own children and how you can stuff their rooms with even more STUFF.

I have been Black Friday shopping. I will probably go again. I wont use that day for greed or to get stuff just to have stuff. {I really hate stuff and especially crappy stuff, it's the worst.} However, it's an excellent day to score some bargains on things our family needs and even things we want. It's ok to have nice things and to bless our kids with nice things.

I have to wonder though, at what point does the blessing turn into a curse?

The stores are opening earlier and earlier, many on Thanksgiving now. The workers are often under paid. Many, not all, would be considered the working poor. You know, those single moms or dads ( though, not all are single) busting their butts around the clock just to provide FOOD and yet they still need welfare. Shouldn't they have a day to spend with their families too?

26% of children in the state of Texas live in poverty. They can forget about Elf on the Shelf. Santa isn't coming to their house.

While we indulge in gluttony and call it holiday cheer, children all over the world starve to death. Literal death. Not the "starving to death" we experience waiting in line at Burger King.

When we are out shopping for our daughter's 100th doll or our son's endless stack of new video games, children go without clothing or shoes. Yet they dwell in the filthiest living conditions and a pair of shoes could literally save their lives.

Like these kids.

Not all is lost. In middle of the holiday parties, the frenzy, and the stress we can do something. What if this year your family decided to give gifts with eternal impact? Give the gift of child sponsorship. Take some of your Christmas spending money and give to reliable charities in honor of your family. I know it might sound cheesy! But it's not. Impacting the life of a child for eternity is not cheesy. Here are a few fantastic ministries to get involved with this Christmas:

http://www.hopechest.org/
http://globalreachforjustice.com/
http://sherescuehome.org/

Get involved locally! In my area there is an amzing ministry that not only provides coats for children who would otherwise have nothing, they also provide gifts from Santa. What a dream come true for those kids!! There are several churches in my area {and in yours too} that are providing holiday meals. Find a place to get involved. You wont have to look far.

The best way to spread holiday cheer is sharing the GOSPEL for all to hear! {Sorry Buddy, I like Christmas songs too, but the gospel has more impact.}

I'm not just talking about the Baby Jesus Christmas Story. I'm talking about walking out the gospel. Being the hands and feet of Christ this Christmas!

The One Rule

Yesterday was one of those days. It didn't look like this, but it felt like this! {Maybe it looked like this...minus the pregnancy.} I felt like a crazy mom. I chased my kids around almost all day. It was a less than productive day.

My children were WILD THINGS. It didn't matter what I tried. I sent them outside, I made them clean, and of course I nagged them! I used all of my energy not to yell and lose my patience or get frustrated. I did pretty well!!

Finally, I had this brilliant idea. We needed a little team meeting. I grabbed my white board and marker. They sat on the floor in the living room, wriggling around like a bunch of worms. I was about to write down some rules that they know they should follow.

1. Don't mess up the house (clean up your stuff).

2. Don't yell or run in the house.

3. Be nice to each other.

And on the list could go. Except, I didn't write any of that down. I wrote one word.

Our pastors taught on this in a parenting class. The one rule, respect, covers everything! 

I explained what it means to respect. I asked the kids questions like, "is it respect when you do this to my living room?" {My house was pretty wrecked.} And, "is it respect when you call each other names or fight?" Of course they know those are things aren't respect! Even the twins caught on! 

I have already had the privilege of using our one rule today! YAY! {Right....yay for getting to put it to use and see that they actually understand.}

From now on I will not have to nag or command the kids to follow ALL the rules. {Because, I will not be a nagging/commanding mom.} They have one rule. They also have consequences. 

Very soon I will share about our newly implemented "junk box." {It's different from the rummage boxes we have all seen on Pinterest!} I will also share with you about some of our other creative disciplines we use. 

My Isaiah Story

This is my teen pregnancy story. This is how I really came to know Jesus.

There is a lot to The Isaiah Story. It's hard to know where to start. I don't want to smear anyone's reputation here {including my own}, so unlike myself I will tread lightly.

When I was a senior in high school I went through a short-lived phase of full on rebellion. Actually, I did stupid ungodly things off and on through out high school. This time it was different, I didn't want to repent and didn't feel much conviction in the middle of my actions. I don't want to load this blog up with details that are irrelevant to the real story here, the story of how Jesus used a little baby boy to help bring me back to Him. 

In February of 2003 I was a senior in high school and found out I was pregnant. I attended a private Christian high school, worked in the after school care program, and the church nursery. When I found out I decided not to tell anyone because school was almost over and surely I could make it to June without anyone knowing. I probably could have made it if it had not been for the "morning sickness" that literally kept me in bed, out of school and work. Everyone found out. I was no longer allowed to attend classes at school and was unable to keep my jobs. {Please understand that I signed a code of conduct and the action to give me out of school suspension was in my favor. I was too sick to attend class anyway.}

I went through the rest of the school year mourning. Mourning the loss of my friends, the relationship with a boy I had dated, prom, and just life as a high schooler in general. Ten years ago teen pregnancy was not the cool thing to do, there weren't shows about it, and it was highly rejected. I was rejected. I can't even begin to explain the pain and loneliness I experienced. In my desperation I began a cycle of setting myself up for more heartache and rejection.

Until one day, while I was driving in my car I cried out to Jesus. He answered me right then. The major hole I felt in my heart was gone. I was still experiencing heart ache and had hard decisions to make to break the cycle of pain and rejection, but I was able now.

Jesus put some seriously amazing people in my life and I know without their support and prayers I wouldn't be where I am today. I had a few really great friends that stuck beside me and I can't even think of the times without crying, that they literally laid beside me in bed just to be a friend. Two of those people were my sisters. There were others who fought for me behind the scenes and one who simply wouldn't stop inviting me to the teen moms support group. My family showed amazing support for me as well.

I can look back now and see Him saving me, loving me, holding me, keeping me alive. He put amazing people in my path to help mentor me and walk beside me when no one else wanted to! When the school board decided on out of school suspension I was crushed, but look at how God was working behind the scenes the whole time! As I mentioned above, I was too sick to attend class.

On prom night I remember laying in bed and praying, "Jesus, I need to know this is worth it." And that very night I felt my baby move for the first time! It was supposed to be "too early" to feel him, but he kept moving and flipping and the whole thing lasted several minutes. I know it was an answered prayer.

God also met my need for a job that wouldn't be really hard on me as I continued with morning sickness off and on until about 4-5 months along. I was a nanny for a super sweet little girl and her mom was very understanding of my situation and she showed me compassion.

Then, in July I had sworn off all guys-forever. Except my baby boy. It was going to be us against the world. Until Mackey came along. {A blog for another day, but this was a big promise God didn't wait to deliver to Isaiah and me.}

At around 8 months into the pregnancy I suddenly was overcome with fear about parenting. Even with Mackey by my side, I felt like I might still end up parenting alone. I thought perhaps adoption would be the best route. I found a family and everything.

Isaiah came 2 days late, on November 6th at 4:20 pm. It was eventful to say the least. He went home on November 3rd, after the hospital social worker had coerced me to release him to the adoptive parents. Before he left me I was already having second thoughts. I cried from the moment he left until I had him back. It was heart wrenching to lose him and it was heart wrenching to take him back. {Just a little side story. The Lord has since blessed that family with 3 healthy biological children of their own!}

Mackey named him, Isaiah Luke. We didn't know the meaning of his names at the time, but here they are: Isaiah-God is salvation and Luke-light. Yeah, that sums it up, for me anyway. God gave me this baby and brought me salvation as I learned to press into Him. 

During that 40 weeks I found myself praying a lot. Going to church a lot. And really looking for God in everything. There were ups and major downs. I made a lot of mistakes about how I handled things. But He was there, always right there. I was never alone. Even when I still felt alone He brought me amazing people.

If I had not been pregnant at only 17 I can honestly tell you I would have continued in my rebellion. I would have partied and drank. I would have lived a purposeless life and I don't know for how long. The lack of purpose is what I believe caused my rebellion in the first place. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. In a moment that I least expected, Jesus gave me a path to follow. I know that I was sinning and that premarital sex is never God's plan for us. But what I do know is that God can take what the devil wants to use against us and actually use it FOR us, because He is a REDEEMER. He took my situation of rebellion and pulled me to Him.

Thank you Jesus for my second chance, for intervening and creating a new path for me. Thank you Jesus for my Isaiah.

Time For Transparency

What if we were completely transparent? What if we allowed the light of Jesus to shine right through us? What does that even mean? What would that look like?

Well....I know in my life it would mean being completely honest, laying it all out there for Jesus to come and restore. Then sharing my story, my testimony, my past and present failures. When we pretend everything is just great and it's all perfect, we do a great disservice to the redemptive power of the cross. 

As a parent we are gearing up to have some seriously hard conversations with our kids about sex. Seriously hard. It isn't easy for any parents but for parents who didn't wait, for a mom that conceived her first child in high school, unmarried, it complicates the conversation. Many parents didn't wait and lots of them conceived out of wedlock, sadly it is not uncommon anymore. And lots of parents lie to their kids. We wont lie. We can't. Our oldest knows he was adopted by his dad. The message I hope to share with my son and daughters is not a scary teen pregnancy story but the redemptive story. The work Jesus did in my life. 

Where I am going with all of this is that the messy and brokenness that makes up our lives is so powerful if we will lay it out there rather than hide it. I am not saying we should give details and air out our dirty laundry, but we should tell the truth. 

In John chapter 8, Jesus tells us that He is the truth and He will set us free. Free from sin, free from shame. We are captives to sin and shame. Even when you are free from sin you can still be held captive by shame. Being transparent, truthful, and sharing your story will literally set you free from shame. The enemy that holds you captive by shame will then be the one you are holding captive!

When we become transparent with Jesus, He makes us whole, He heals us, He redeems us, He makes us new. It is in this place, this safe place, you can become the real you. Not the you clothed in shame and burdened with regret, but the you clothed in righteousness, with no burdens at all! Not the you full of reject, but the Jesus in you that you fully accept. 

Once you fully accept yourself you can learn to fully accept others. Because this faith journey isn't one we should travel alone. We need friends. Friends is really understatement. We need people who have gone before us and people to go along side us- brothers and sisters in Christ. But if we can't make peace with the past, if we continue to wear a mask and refuse transparency, then we will never really be on the journey at all. We will never really be able to impact people for Christ. Without transparency it's like emptiness. With truth, love, and togetherness we have fullness.

It's time to lay down the mask and facade and say I struggle with depression...or my daughter has an eating disorder...or my marriage is falling apart...or I am struggling with the financial burden of single parenting...or addiction...or homosexuality...or any other number of things that wreak havoc in our hearts and tear apart our happy homes. 

My heart is craving the raw real life relationships. The kind where we can be real and transparent. And I think it's time. Time to be transparent, to be real, to allow healing in our souls. Time to let Jesus heal us and let our brothers and sisters in Christ walk with us. 

To be real. To be honest. To be healed. To be you.


{This blog post was highly inspired by a book, "The Beauty of Broken," written by Elisa Morgan. This is definitely a recommended read!}


    

Our {First} doTERRA Story

During "The Summer of the Great Sickness," as we have so loving nicknamed it, we were introduced to doTerra Essential Oils. It is possible, though not confirmed, that our twins had pertussis (whooping cough). The older kids had the same symptoms but their immune systems are much more mature and handled the illness like a boss. These oils were the game changing moment in our family's s healing journey.

We have been dealing with respiratory issues since July due to "The Great Sickness." In the past few weeks we have continued with essential oils purchased from the health food store without any improvement. Switched to doTerra oils and BOOM! Improvement. Again, game changer.

Here is a little something my doTerra consultant shared: 

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." Thus begins the Gospel of Saint John. The creation story of Genesis begins with the statement: "In the beginning God created..." Following that we find God speaking His creation into existence by His very Word. "And God said, Let there be light...And God said, Let there be a firmament...And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so." We find the phrase, "And God said..." nine times in the first chapter of Genesis.Word is a vibration, a frequency, a consciousness, an expression of energy. When God created the plants by His speaking voice, he imbued them with His Word and His intelligence. This includes the oils of the plants which He intended, from their very creation, to become our medicines when we need healing.That is what is so special about essential oils. They contain power of God's Word. Artificial medicines, made by humans, contain no such power. That's why they cannot heal and never will. The point here is that essential oils are divinely ordained as medicine's for God's children and are meant to be used with God's guidance, accompanied with prayer. ~The Healing Oils of the Bible, By: David Stewart PhD

We are hooked on doTerra oils. We have seen first hand the difference quality oils can make in your health. Mackey and I are super excited to join the doTerra family! We want to help people the same way we were helped. Our prayer is that daily God will bring people into our life that we can help by showing them the power of essential oils and teach them how to care for themselves and their family naturally.

Santa in Our Home

In my last blog, A Holy Holiday, I briefly wrote a little on Halloween, Christmas, and celebrating secular holidays as Christians. In this blog I will share my heart journey with you. {It is ok to agree to disagree. I am not here to debate. I am not a theologian. This is only the story of my journey}.

I have been on both ends of the spectrum when it comes to celebrating Halloween, Christmas, and Easter. I was raised "doing" the holidays like everyone else. It was fun {SO MUCH FUN} but it wasn't purposed. However, I can honestly say that it has not damaged me as an adult. I don't believe in Jesus less, not even as a child when I found out the truth. I have heard of a few instances where kids found out and then wondered if God was real. I think with a balanced view on fiction, fantasy, and reality this wont happen. Fostering a healthy imagination in children will most likely prevent this and it's important for kids to make-believe. Kids also believe Dora, Elmo, Doc McStuffins, and all of their favorite characters are real.

Fast forward into my adult years as a young mom on a motherhood journey much too young and very much still trying to just figure out the basics. I decided Halloween, Santa, Christmas, all of it was evil and came from the devil. I didn't want our little family to participate. It was always a debate in our home, my sweet hubs wasn't completely on board. We did participate in a few and very limited amount of these celebrations. Back in these days (until last year of 2012) I can honestly say I was completely operating in legalism, a spirit of fear (fear that I was pleasing the devil, not God), and self-righteousness (I wanted to be super holy).

Here's the deal with Santa:
It was almost the holiday season of 2012 when my sweet little 3 year old twins came running through house shouting, "Santa is coming! Santa is coming!" Needless to say I was completely thrown through a loop. We had never talked about Santa with them and it wasn't even December yet (Santa and Christmas stuff weren't even out in the stores yet). I tried to tell them Santa wasn't real, he is pretend like Elmo and Dora. They completely melted down and didn't believe me. The other kids had just accepted this truth like no big deal. I could not bare to crushed their childlike faith. So, I began to search my heart and pray.

After the eye opening experience with the twins I realized that my kids where longing for a more exciting childhood and the space to just be kids. We not only did the Santa thing we even did Elf on the Shelf. Let me tell you one of the biggest reasons why. I had been suffering from depression for a few years and I really needed to have fun and relax. I didn't want the Christmas season to feel like a drag. We celebrated. That is why God gives us the opportunity to celebrate isn't it? To remember His goodness, to relish in His love, and to have fun! God wants us to enjoy life.

We have been open and honest with our kids about the whole Santa thing from the very beginning, including the tooth fairy, but we all enjoy pretending together. I am so bad at the tooth fairy thing, when the kids lose a tooth I will ask them, "Do you want the money now or under your pillow?" They usually will say under their pillow {because it's FUN}. The twins asked me just yesterday if Santa was real. We had a good talk {I'm not sure they totally caught on}. I explained about St. Nicholas, who was very generous but had to remain anonymous and that's where we get the idea to give gifts from Santa, to help us to remember to give generously and without expecting anything in return. Jesus gives to us so we can give to others. We really like this VeggieTales.

We talk about how we just pretend about Santa. They know we eat the milk and cookies. Our Elf on the Shelf, Zippy is his name, is just part of the fun make-believe. And guess what? During Christmas time they choose to go all out and pretend like they actually believe. Our family had fun last year and we really needed that. The kids went bed with anticipation of the fun that Zippy would bring in the morning!

My goal this year is to be purposed with Zippy and our Santa game. I want Zippy to do silly things but mostly bring important messages to the kids about doing acts of kindness. Zippy will come back from the North Pole with assignments for the kids to carry out. As far as Christmas Eve and Santa, he will be riding in his sleigh to bring a few gifts, eat his cookies, and travel around the world-for pretend. It's fun to make-believe with your kids. Our imaginations are beautiful gifts from God. He created us to imagine, to hope, to dream, to have faith in things unseen, and to believe.

We will also be using the Jesus Storybook Bible to go along with our Jesse Tree devotions. I am currently working on our December reading list that will consist of Christmas stories that focus on Jesus, some about the make-believe stuff (like Santa), and hopefully some that incorporate both.

The point is that any day of the week can be as evil as you allow it to be. Any holiday, character, anything at all can be used for evil or for good. I believe it's our choice. We choose to make good what the enemy wants to use for evil. I can't think of a better way to defeat him than to use his own tools against him!

St. Nicholas was a real person who did great things in the name of Christ. He set an excellent example that we can all learn from. However, Zippy is no more real than Cinderella and I don't know about ya'll but we love her! So that's it, my journey, my heart, and how I am hoping to make our make-believing purposed.

{Update: We are following this blog this year, Elf on the Shelf Jesus Style}

A Holy Holiday

If there really is one....

Let me start this blog by saying a few things about myself. There was once a time (not that long ago) that I didn't want my family to celebrate Halloween, in any way shape or form. I didn't want my kids to believe in Santa Clause or the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny. None of it. It's all pagan, right?? Can we actually redeem these pagan holidays and make them Christian? I don't know. What I do know is that over the past two years I have had a major heart shift in all of it {we are all having a lot more fun}.

One thing I have come to realize is that I was raising my kids in a very sheltered sub-culture of Christianity. The very last thing I want to do is raise kids to become teenagers and adults that cannot influence anyone for Christ because no one from outside their sub-culture can relate to them {I digress. That's a blog for another day}.

Let's talk Christmas and Halloween for a moment. Jesus was not born in December-fact. Saint Nicolas was a real person-fact. Christmas is basically a made up holiday deemed a time to celebrate the birth of Christ and take the place of the pagan holidays (Saturnalia, Yule, etc.)- fact. So, it seems we Christians have found a way to "redeem" this former pagan holiday. {Although I'm not sure how Santa and Elf on the Shelf have anything to do with the birth of Christ, but we have fun with both in our house anyway.}

Halloween has some serious dark roots-fact. Halloween actually means All Hallows' Eve and is the day before All Saints Day (Catholic origins)-fact. October 31st is also the day Martin Luther nailed the 95 Theses to the doors of the Catholic Church changing not only the church but the world-fact. Reformation Day is {in my lowly opinion} worthy of celebration. However dressing up and trick or treating isn't really celebrating Reformation Day anymore than pretending a fat guy came down your chimney and dropped off presents and saying it's a way to celebrate the birth of Christ.

Here is a snippet I read from Relevant (Christian Magazine).

"Halloween clearly came from some pretty not Christian stuff. And we should all take seriously the world of spirits and the dangers of real witchcraft and messing with the occult. The Bible explicitly talks about a world we can’t see, and a world that very often influences and affects our own. Which begs the question: How should Christians think about Halloween?Well ... probably the same way we think about Christmas. What does Christmas mean to you? When you see a Christmas tree or wear red and green for a cheesy photo, are you thinking about how you can best honor the Roman god Sol Invictus? And when you eat your Christmas dinner, are you super pumped about gathering to observe the ancient German pagan holiday of Yule?Because that’s where those traditions started.If you are, then you should probably stop celebrating Christmas (you also might want to talk to someone about your theology). But if you aren’t, then Christmas is likely the time you remember Christ’s birth and how His birth provides the opportunity for salvation and ushered in a Kingdom that is changing the world."

-Is Halloween Good or Evil  By: Ryan Hamm

Just as Christmas has been deemed a time to celebrate the birth of Christ maybe Halloween can be deemed a time to celebrate the freedom we have in Christ and the work of the saints who have gone before us paving the way. All I know is that I will let the light of Christ shine {hide my light under a bushel-NO!} and I will not let the enemy have any day not even October 31st. Every day belongs to my Redeemer.

Happy Halloween. Happy All Hallows' Eve. Happy Reformation Day. Happy October 31st, the day that the Lord has made {I will rejoice and be glad in it}!

There and Back: Cambodia

Phnom Penh, Cambodia. View from my hotel window.

I have been home almost a month. I am still counting the blessings and the things I learned from this trip. Should I just start listing things off or try and be creative or poetic in my blogs? I'll just be me...

1. When God says go there or do this. Obey.

2. When you do God will show up in big ways.

3. He is the ultimate provider. No excuses for not doing kingdom work! God showed me His idea of provision and rocked my world.

4. He is the ultimate comforter. I didn't feel homesick at all. I missed my husband and kids but I had tremendous peace throughout the trip. The twins were diagnosed with bronchitis just days before I left and still I had PEACE!

5. There is no such thing as small kingdom work. Anything you do to grow God's kingdom is a big deal to Him. Whether it's cleaning toilets, changing diapers in the nursery, singing on the worship team, preaching, or traveling around the world to love on people, it matters!! It changes lives.

6. Just do something. Anything. Get involved. {Refer to #5}

7. Don't under estimate the power of a happy face. Not just a smile but actually having joy and showing it. It's a universal language. 

 8. Be flexible. {Like when you are in the Moscow airport and they don't sell real water. And all you want is real  water, not something that fizzes when you open it.}

9. Mostly, I learned to really open my heart to people, to let people in.

10. LOVE LOVE LOVE people. Hold the baby without the diaper, hug the kids that live in the dump and have lice infested hair, dance and be silly, and just let anything go that hinders love.

Now for some pictures...

Airplane food is gross. I felt adventurous on the way there and ate some. I actually tasted every meal. On the way back...not so much. 

Cambodians eat strange pizza. Those are hot dogs in the crust. 

Participating in the feeding program at Kampong Thom was my FAVORITE part of the trip. I could do this all the time. {Then of course this puts the 1st two pictures into perspective. Humbled. Grateful.}

Baby holding. <3 

Game playing.

Party time!

Every year Global Reach throws a party in Kampong Cham. They provide school uniforms, supplies, shoes, and other goodies for all of the kids in the Hope Center. This year there were 32 kids. The party was so fun!

Manicures at the party. 

A few other things we did not pictured here:

1. Participated in an ESL (English as a second language) class. I got to participate in the kids' class and one of the little girls gave me a flower afterward. I loved this experience!

2. We went with New Life Church (a local church in Phnom Penh with campuses all over Cambodia) to the what they call the Dumps to teach bible stories and play with kids. These kids actually live in the dump, think landfill. Humbling isn't it? 

3. We went to New Life Church's YO (youth outreach, youth group) and played games. Two of our team members gave their testimony and it was amazing.

4. We also went to New Life Church on Sunday. We helped with children's church and also attended the service. Both experiences were awesome. The Cambodian people are so excited about Jesus. Their hope and joy are very contagious! 

5. Other big highlights from the trip were when we ate at Sugar & Spice Garden Cafe and Bloom Bakery. Sugar & Spice is operated by a Christian organization, Daughter's of Cambodia, that works diligently to bring both women and men out of the sex industry. Bloom Bakery is operated by, SHE Rescue Home. At Bloom they make amazing cakes and cupcakes (think about those crazy cake shows, they make things like that at Bloom). At both of these places I had to fight back tears, literally {I didn't want to come across as crazy}. I am simply awe struck of the things these daughters of God, these sisters in Christ, have had to overcome. It is nothing short of amazing what the restoring power of God can do. I wanted to hug them all!  

The trip was such a great experience. I can't wait to do something like this again. I am ready! 

Leavin' On A Jet Plane

I'm about to board a plane and head to Cambodia. My mama heart is feeling a bit weepy tonight. Yesterday while I was packing and my sweet Ady realized that all of this talk about Cambodia meant mommy wouldn't be home. She completely melted down {all the while Avy was throwing stuff in my suitcase}. We had a little cuddle and cry time. Today they have both turned on the sappiness. Avy has been a little extra clingy and Ady has actually voiced her feelings, "Mama, I'm going to cry for you when you go to Cambodia." Yeah......they are making this super easy-not.

I figure I should get the sad feelings out of my system before I board the first plane. So, I decided to reminisce. 

I took my 1st mission trip when I was 14. It was actually a local one. A small portion of the youth group stayed in the dorms of a center-city outreach driven church. I learned about apart of town I never knew existed in the very city I was born and raised. It was life changing to see that level poverty in my own city {homes without running water, another home where a prostitute raised her children and serviced her clients without a bedroom door}. To this day I think about those kids. I pray for them. I wonder how they are doing and how old they are. They still have my heart.

When I was 15 I had the amazing privileged of attending a private Christian school that took an annual mission trip {with excused absences that didn't count against you!} to Acuna. Mexico.

 We went to neighborhoods like this. The homes where made of scrap wood, cinder blocks, and cardboard boxes. {Most of the houses were made of cardboard.}The water they drank was kept in a huge uncovered barrel outside the home. It was not the kind of water any of us would even want to water the yard with.

We got to play with these awesome kids. We handed out suckers and stickers. We prayed over them and invited them to church. I think about these kids all the time too. In this area alcoholism is a huge problem and there are a lot of single mamas.

I got to meet this cutie-pie cowboy at a church service way out in the country where the air actually smelt like....weed {as in marijuana}. Yep, you could smell it just walking down the street. After that trip I wanted to move to Mexico forever. I wanted to be a missionary.

I went again on the same trip when I was a 16. This time we worked mainly in the mission and not in the neighborhoods. We handed out food and took care of the kids that showed up throughout the day.

I met these sweet sisters. 

I also got strep-throat before even arriving {woke up in San Angelo with it}. Then while in Mexico I contracted an eye infection that lasted three months and was painful to say the least. My eye doctor had never seen anything like it and I had to have a culture done every week. Yes, every week they scraped my eye ball. After that trip I never wanted to go back. In my heart I did, but I just knew if I did I would get sick. Weird way of thinking....maybe...

Except....

Now I'm off to Cambodia and guess what? Every kid in my house is coughing, really bad coughing. The kind of coughing that gets me out of bed. So, I figure this short-term missionary stuff {even if it's been 11 years} is something the Lord really wants me to do. He provided ALL the funds for this trip in a matter of days. He paved a clear path for me and with the amazing support from my hubby I'm GOING! Because the devil can't win.

Today I prayed for a scripture. "Lord, almost all my kids are still suffering from this nasty cough. I'm going to miss my family like crazy. I'm coughing just a bit too. Can you give me a verse to cling to?" I read 1 Cor. 13. It is 13 verses long {you should read it}. It is the verses to the song my Brenly Bear danced to at her recital. The very last verse is my clinging verse. {We also got married on the 13th, so it's a number I like. Full of love not unluckiness.}

"But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love." 1 Cor. 13:13

Thank you Jesus for the sweet words! I can trust YOU! I can share your hope. My purpose for going on this trip is to LOVE your children.

So, I'll leave you with this....

This is from the 1st trip to Mexico. I really like goats.

Blessings,

~Hailey

Oh Nevermind...

You know that moment when you realize maybe you jumped the gun? Well, I faced this moment just days after posting my last blog. I had to face the cold hard fact that my heart still wanted to homeschool the kids. So, Mackey and I had a long hard talk {I mean loooonnnggg & hard.} I faced my fears and confronted my weaknesses. I had a hard year with school in 2012 and I was still very drained from it. We had just moved into a new home with a project around every corner and boxes to the ceiling. It is summer and I just wanted to have FUN!! I made the decision out of weariness and feelings of being overwhelmed. I am retracting my last statement and 

WE WILL BE HOMESCHOOLING 

this next school year.

I am changing things a little bit.For the first time I will be using a simpler, more planned out program and things like that. We are rejoining our local support group {I NEED PEOPLE}. We are changing our schedule to a 5 day school week and will be taking real breaks!

I don't know if giving my family the summer off was just what I needed to find my homeschoolin' mojo but it worked. I have a new perspective and eagerness to homeschool. I may seem like a wishy-washy person and that is ok, because it is a good thing to examine your heart and your motives and correct yourself when you get off course. I was getting off course, now I am back on. 

Here are our reasons for homeschooling. Why Homeschool? Blessings,
~Hailey   

Public School Here We Come

Closing the door to our one room school house...

When we made the hardcore decision to homeschool and never look back I really thought I would be graduating the kids from homeschool. I pictured them walking across the stage with their homeschoolin' buddies and patting myself on the back as I wipe a tear {or Mackey pats me on the back as I sob uncontrollably}. 

We homeschooled for only three short...long...short years. And now my hubs and I both know in our hearts that the homeschooling season is over. I never expected this and it has not been an easy decision. I thought it would help me through the transition of a house full of kids to absolutely none {for several hours a day anyway} if I could put into words just a few things I am taking away from our experience. 

1. The education of my children is my responsibility. Mine and Mackey's. It is up to us to see them through school. Encourage them to study. Study with them. Check in with their teachers. Tutor them through their weaknesses. Although they will be enrolled in public school, their teachers are my partners and they are not solely responsible for their growing minds. The Lord gave that responsibility to Mackey and me.

2. There is nothing more rewarding than seeing your kids achieve greatness. We are hands-on parents and wont miss a thing! Because we homeschooled I understand the challenges of teaching kids to read and understand math. Their success is worth celebrating and nothing is too small to celebrate! When my kids "get" something that has been challenging I will know to congratulate them and their teacher.  

3. Although my kids are young they can still impact their peers. Because my kids are young they can be easily impacted by their peers. See, this one is a double-edged sword and I am not naive to it. I understand that my kids are too young to be "sent into the mission field" and "to be light in a dark place." If public school is a dark place and a mission field then I am joining my kids in their journey. This is hardly throwing them into the world or feeding them to the wolves. My husband and I will be very present in their lives. I will be occasionally joining them for lunch, volunteering to read, participating in field trips, and helping with class parties. There is plenty to do that encourages them in their new journey and lets them know we are in this school thing and this life thing TOGETHER.   

4. This last thing I am glad we learned outside the public school realm. Your kids/my kids/all kids do not need to participate in every activity to be happy, productive, good citizens. Keeping your kids busy with every little activity or sport doesn't keep them out of trouble! If extracurricular activities keep your family apart and out of church they aren't worth it. PERIOD! Having strong family bonds and helping your family grow spiritually is far more important than ANYTHING else. More important than trophies, gold medals, snowcones after the game, popularity, and even more important than the chance of scholarships. What most homeschool families have figured out or are aiming for anyway, is that nothing comes before God and family. Bible study, church, volunteering at church and in the community, local and international missions seems to be at the heart of many homeschool families. Our heart is there too. Public school wont change that. I believe it is giving us another way to reach out and touch the very heart of God, children.

So, this is where we stand. Obedience even when we don't want to, because I would rather be homeschooling the kids. I might cry or I might do a happy dance on August 26th, I'm not sure yet. I might do both! 

For my homeschoolin' friends, I love you! What ya'll do is amazing. I am very pro-homeschool and I am for you succeeding in the journey God has for you! I'm a little jealous it's not my journey anymore. 

Blessings,
~Hailey

May & June at Our House

When I started this blog I really hoped to actually write and post things...but...I haven't really. One thing that is easy enough to quickly post about are all the sudden changes that have taken place.

In May, Makena turned 7!

Quick...blow out the candles! We have to keep packing BECAUSE....

We moved {the yard looks better, it's one of our projects}. This house is a blessing from the Lord! We love the neighborhood. We have the option to buy it. It's in the same town as our church. It puts us in an amazing school district {um...why does that matter, we homeschool. More on that later.}. It is a "love gift" or a gift that needs a lot of love. It's a fixer-upper! We have painted almost the whole house, all but one small room.

Here is a little, although not well photographed, picture of my living room (before/after).

In the middle of moving our girls had their very first recital. Avy surprised us all and actually danced {because at the two dress rehearsals she panicked on stage and cried}. I am still in awe of how wonderfully they all performed!

Then, the twins turned 4!!

{Yeah, they had donuts to celebrate...we were after all in the middle of unpacking, organizing, decorating, painting, and this was only 3 days post recital. I'm tired.} 

To finish off June our wonderful in-laws came to town.

And there was lots of swimming!!

The end! 

~Now on to JULY~

Food...A Golden Calf

"When the people realized that Moses was taking forever in coming down off the mountain, they rallied around Aaron and said 'Do something. Make gods for us who will lead us. That Moses, the man who got us out of Egypt- who knows what's happened to him?'" Exodus 32:1 (MSG)

Their leader was gone and the people were without vision. They didn't have purpose. They didn't know who they were in the Lord. I don't think they even believed the Lord to be their deliverer. They even said, "That Moses, the man who got us out of Egypt". I believe that people need a leader. I believe people need a cause. They need identity.  They need  purpose. Without it they are lost and searching for something special and important to do or be apart of.

When we don't have these things it is so easy to pick up or create idols in our lives. Idolatry is an act of worship that begins in your heart and probably starts out slow and innocent. I know I have dealt with a great big fat idol in my heart! Healthy eating! It's not like I woke up one day {or ever} and thought, "I am going to worship healthy eating!" It happened slowly. Before I knew it our healthy lifestyle was the driving force of many relationships, how I spent my time, and how we spent our money. 

Eating healthy is good and we should all make responsible choices to honor the Lord with our bodies and our finances. That's right finances. There are 2,350 verses in the Bible about money. I'm not really writing about money today. However, when we talk about idols how we spend our money says a lot about the things we meditate on in our hearts.

Healthy eating was a place holder for my real purpose. My real purpose is loving Jesus and loving my neighbor. So now, I am getting more involved at church, going on a mission trip to Cambodia, and actively praying and seeking out other ways to give my time and resources. The Lord blesses us so we can be a blessing to others. We can't bless anyone if we are stretched financially thin and completely out of hours in our day because our focus is inward.

We all need to find a God fueled passion and pursue it! We all need leaders to help guide and direct us. Find a church to get involved in. Get a mentor to help you walk through life and grow in the purpose the Lord placed inside you. We all have something inside of us that longs to fulfill some great purpose, the Lord placed that in us. He wants us to be His hands and feet. He uses us to go all over the world and share His love!! We need to change our thinking to an eternal perspective. Life and death hang in the balance and as believers we have the power to impact people's lives for eternity! We should be growing heaven and shrinking hell, quite frankly, if we aren't doing this then we are failing as Christians.

The golden calf was not only a place holder for God it was also a distraction. It distracted the Hebrew people from fulfilling their purpose and taking their place as victorious children of God dwelling in their promised land. 

Are the choices you are making building a golden calf or growing the Kingdom of Heaven? We need to check our hearts and our outward lives.

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes...There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach..." Matthew 6:25-26 (MSG)

Blessings,
~Hailey

A Call

"My life was small, self-centered, isolated, petty, safe, and ineffective." -Lisa Bevere

Yep. That was me. But not anymore. I am finally answering the call to be the daughter, wife, mom, sister, friend, and woman the Lord wants me to be. Why now? I woke up. When I finally figured out what I am not I had to figure out what I want to be.


I am not that soccer mom with an ice chest full of goodies.
As a matter of fact, I am not that mom whose kids are overly involved in extracurricular anything.
I am not that mom that does amazing crafts and awesome science projects everyday (or ever...poor kids) for homeschool.
I am not that mom with the healthiest and tastiest home cooked meals (ain't nobody got time for that).
I am not that wife who always has a clean house with a place for everything and everything in its place (but do I ever wish).
I am not that wife that never has a basket of dirty laundry.
I am not that friend that throws perfect dinner parties where the table is nicely set and the candles are lit. 
I am not that daughter that always remembers to send handwritten thank-you notes (I wish I did better at this).
I am not a woman that is a "fashionista".

I have actually tried all of the above. I was BAD at all of them. Especially, the healthy and tasty home cooked meals (more on this in the next blog) and being a homeschool extraordinaire.   

What I am striving to be...

The mom who is in-tune with her children.
The mom who homeschools but doesn't make it a priority over relationships with her husband and children.
The mom who doesn't sacrifice nearly all of her waking hours cooking and cleaning but playing and laughing with her family instead.
The wife who is in-tune with her husband. 
The friend who is there in good times and bad (and brings the ice cream and oreos).
The daughter that is full of love and gratefulness.
The woman who is confident and knows that she was made for purpose.

Most importantly...
A daughter of the Most High God who leaves His mark on the hearts of her family. A woman of the Lord that is not afraid to face the challenges our time brings. A daughter of Zion that goes into the dark places and sets the captives free. A woman on a mission to share the love and goodness of the Lord. A kingdom minded, externally focused,  eternal thinker, and fearless daughter, wife, mom, sister, friend, and woman.

I am honored to be a wife and a mother. There is no greater calling. But does it stop there? Is the threshold of my front door where my ministry ends? It shouldn't be!! That is where my ministry begins!! 

There are millions of women and children being held captive and daily tortured for the pleasure of man and money for the pimp. There are billions of people starving all over the world, even right down the street. There are people dying from toxic drinking water. The list goes on. With all of the injustices being done to the children of the Most High God how can anyone continue to sit comfortably and not raise a finger?

I have to do something. I have to help the helpless. This urgency inside of me has been building for years. I can't even name the very thing that finally made it all snap and kicked me into action. I woke up. Will you?

"Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter and not just do what is most convenient for us. Strength is for service, not status. Each one of us needs to look after the good of all the people around us, asking ourselves, 'How can I help?'" -Romans 15:1-2

Blessings,
~Hailey

Why Homeschool?

In this blog I am going to lay out our personal reasons for homeschooling.  This is my heart and convictions.  I am by no means judging anyone who chooses to educate their children differently.

Our adventures in the world of homeschooling began in 2010.  Homeschooling our kids was something the Lord had put in our hearts back in 2008 via a friend/mentor of mine. She simply commented over coffee "you would love to homeschool your kids" and my response was something along the lines of "no way." Followed by laughter. Then I could not get the thought out of my head. It just lingered there and wouldn't go away. We decided we would homeschool, Isaiah was about to start kindergarten in a year and I like to plan ahead.

Then....I got pregnant. Of course it couldn't just be one baby but it had to be twins! I panicked, we both panicked, and Isaiah went to public school. During the entire year of kindergarten I knew we were suppose to be homeschooling. I would hear the word and burst into tears. I knew in my heart we were not being obedient to the calling and conviction the Lord placed in our hearts.  

So anyway....the reasons we homeschool.

1. Because...God said to. He knows what is better, no He knows what is the absolute BEST!  

{Really I could stop here because nothing else matters.  Our 100% obedience is all that matters.}

2. Because...the Word says to: 

"...bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord." Eph. 6:4

{How can I do that with only a few hours each day? How can I do that when my husband and I are not the primary influence in their life? How can I do that when in a society there is no reverence for God? How can I do that when they are subjected to a secular worldview every day five days a week?}

3. Because...we want God as the center of our home and children's education:

"...Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up." Deut. 6:7

4.Because...we want to give our children a firm foundation in the Word of God:

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock." Matt. 7:24-25

"Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." Col. 2:7

4. Because...the Word commands us to protect oursleves and our children from false, ungodly teachings:

"Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ."     Col. 2:8 

Other benefits we are reaping as a family: 

Cultivating strong family relationships.
Encouraging a love for learning.
Freedom to focus on God's work.

That's about it. We love it. It's hard but I think we have found a little groove and education philosophy we love! If you have ever considered homeschooling pray and don't let fear stop you from trying it out!  

Blessings,

~Hailey